A howler from dear old auntie bella
by DoNotCallMehNymphadora
Summary: Bellatrix sends Tonks a howler whilst she is eating breakfast. Sounds much worse than it actually is, promise
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! If I did I wouldn't have so much homework to do**

Tonks had just gotten out of bed in Hogwarts. Tonks couldn't believe it! After she had washed and dressed (with her blindingly yellow hair) ready for dinner, she headed down to the Great Hall. As she was running to catch up with her new friend before they exited the common room, Tonks obviously had to go and trip over a chair leg and skid across the floor of the Hufflepuff common room. The persons whose chair leg she had tripped over, immediately started apologising but TOnks told her it was okay and she wasn't hurt (or in TOnks' exact words, "No harm done.")

Finally, the Hufflepuff friends managed to find their ways to the Great Hall without any more incidents and sat down to a hot and filling dinner. Five minutes later, an owl was spotted heading straight for Nymphadora with a howler in its beak. Tonks didn't know what to do with it but when one of their friends told her to run, the letter had opened and started screaming. As soon as everyone had heard who the howler was from, all eyes turned accusingly to Tonks and people started edging away from her as if she was a deranged criminal like her dear Auntie Bella. Meanwhile, the letter was screaming itself hoarse.

"NYMPHADORA TONKS! HOW DARE YOU BE SORTED INTO HUFFLEPUFF!" At this, fellow Hufflepuffs started getting angry at having their house demoted but they didn't want to create a scene so didn't do anything.

"IF THE TRAITORS SIRIUS AND ANDROMEDA WEREN'T ALREADY BAD ENOUGH, YOU HAVE TO GO AND WORSEN THE REPUTATION OF THE BLACK FAMILY EVEN MORE!" Again someone started getting angry but it wasn't the Hufflepuff's. No, it was the lovely Sirius Black. He was just thinking about Bella an how she was being an arse and sending poor sobbing Tonks a howler.

"I CAN IMAGINE YOU RIGHT NOW AND WHAT AN UGLY SIGHT THAT IS! YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO AND TELL LITTLE SIRIUS WHY YOU HIDE YOUR HELLA UGLY NATURAL APPEARANCE! BYE, BYE DUMB UGLY ASSHOLE WHO IS (UNFORTUNATELY) MY NEICE!"

By this point, Tonks was in tears and was running out of the Great Hall. No more than 30 seconds later, Sirius was racing after her to try and undo the damage their relative had caused to the innocent first year.

 **A/N: Please review and say if you like it or if you want another chapter (I can extend it from a one-shot)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN HARRY POTTER! If I did I wouldn't have so much homework to do**

Sirius raced after her to try and undo the damage their relative had caused. Running as fast as Tonks could, she raved down tot he whomping willow and sat down where the ancient tree couldn't reach. Tonks sighed heavily and started to debate her life.

Was she worth it? Why was Bella sending her a howler? Would she get bullied because of it? What if Sirius didn't understand what had happened to Tonks and called her a coward?

As the questions in her mind progressed, Tonks' hair slowly turned even darker and took on a grey tone because she was really worried.

Meanwhile, Sirius had seen Tonks go towards the whomping willow and saw her sitting down just outside of its reach. When Sirius knew that she wasn't going to get hurt by the tree, he headed back into the hall where horrible rumours had already started up about Tonks. As he walked into the hall all eyes turned to him but Sirius ignored them as he made his way over to his friends in the 3rd year.  
"What's going on? Is Tonks alright?" James asked worriedly.  
"Tonks had gone to have some time alone and I don't think she is alright. What I do think though is that we should go a comfort her to show her she is loved." Sirius replied and almost immediately started walking back out of the Great Hall.

The three marauders made their ways from the hall and towards the whomping willow outside. When the boys got closer, they saw her face streaked with tears and an odd shade of hair made up of brown, grey, dark blue and black. As Tonks heard the trio approaching she looked up and wondered why they were so concerned about her. At first, Tonks thought it was all an act but when she heard their voices, they sounded very concerned and sincere. James spoke first.  
"Tonks. Are you okay? What did Bellatrix mean that you were related to her and you hide your natural appearance?" Sirius and Remus also looked down on her and a second later Tonks was up on her feet and running back towards the castle, only tripping over her own feet a few times. The fact that Tonks hadn't even tried to answer their questions made them immensely worried but as they could tell she wanted to be alone they didn't chase after her.

As Tonks got to the barrels outside the Hufflepuff common room, she quickly tapped the right barrel and go into her common room. She went quickly up to her dorm and got changed into her pyjamas and fell asleep. As the other girl's got into the dorm, Dora woke up. She heard the whispers, taunts and threats as to what they would do if she even lay a finger on them. TOnks listened to the threats and wondered where the nice house reputation had gone. After this thought, TOnks drifted into a restless sleep.

The morning soon came and the girls in the dorm had already gotten dressed and went down to the common room or Great Hall. 'Probably don't want to even look at my ugly face' TOnks thought darkly. How she was going to get through this year she didn't know. Tonks walked down the chair and through the common room, ignoring all of the glares she as getting from her fellow Hufflepuffs. Dora finally got down to the Great Hall where she found the other girls in their dorm room glaring at her whilst the one in the middle (called Augusta Ferchichi) was beckoning her over.

Deciding it was best if Tonks didn't go over to where the other girls were wanting her to be, she sat in a lonely corner near the doors in case there was a need for a quick escape. Unfortunately, just as she had taken a bite out of the toast, the four other girls in her dormitory started to approach her. Seeing this as Tonks' cue to leave, she ran from the hall again and kept running until she ran into someone's chest. This, someone, happened to be James who was on the left of Remus and Sirius. Lily Evans (another Gryffindor third year) happened to be with them and as she had heard what had happened after the howler, she was determined to find out the answers from TOnks, no matter how long it took. As soon as Tonks had realised who it was, she apologised and then tried to run away but James held her wrist (which he thought was way too thin) and stopped her, no matter how much she struggled. Finally, after about five minutes Tonks stopped struggling and Sirius, Remus, James and Lily could finally get some questions in.

The first one came from Lily.  
"Whos is Bellatrix Lestrange to you Tonks?" she asked in a kind but serious voice.  
"She is my aunt," Tonks replied fearfully. The next question came from Sirius.  
"Why do you hide your natural appearance and what do you mean when Bella said that I would be ashamed of you?"  
"She meant you would be ashamed of me because of this." Tonks unmorphed her face and arms which were both covered with scars.  
"Bella did the ones on my face and my right arm. I did the ones on my left arm."

The four of them were shocked. Remus was the first one to come back to his senses and asked the question that everyone was thinking.  
"Why did she do this to you, Tonks?" Tonks looked up, morphed her scars away and answered unsteadily.  
"Becuase I am a dark beast and I should not be able to have such a dark ability. Also because people like me are whores and do anything to get a man." As Tonks got closer to the end, her voice sounded more and more angry towards herself because fo what she let auntie Bella do and what she was. At this, TOnks again bolted away from them only to find herself being held back by Sirius and Remus. She bit into Remus' hand and James took over holding the feisty first year back with Sirius. Tonks suddenly had a master plan and put it into action when she saw them slightly distracted. Quick as a flash, she made herself slimmer and shorter and again ran away. This time, just as she was regrowing to normal height, she tripped over her own feet.

Lily found her a second later and took her up to the girls' dorm in Hufflepuff house. The other girls weren't very happy but didn't talk to either girl as Lily sent them death glares which made them go down to the common room. "So tonks, why do you really keep running away from us?"

 **A/N: Please review xx**


	3. Chapter 3

**TW for mild (not graphic) child abuse and non-specified but implied self-harm.**

 **Stay safe guys xx**

 **Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter or any of the characters in this fic**

 _Lily found her a second later and took her up to the girls' dorm in Hufflepuff house. The other girls weren't very happy but didn't talk to either girl as Lily sent them death glares which made them go down to the common room. "So, Tonks, why do you really keep running away from us?"_

Tonks sighed. She really didn't want to answer this question, but it seemed she had no choice. "Bella always told me that no one could love me, and no one would ever want me. I guess it stuck and now I just feel so ashamed that I let her give me these scars." Tonks curled into herself, internally hating herself for being so weak and letting Bellatrix do those things to her.

Lily almost felt like crying when she heard why Tonks kept running from them. "Tonks, I can assure you that none of the boys or myself think you are weak for your scars. You are so strong and never let anyone tell you otherwise. If you were weak you would've crumbled long ago, or not spoken up and told us about that howler."

At this Tonks felt a warmth she hadn't felt in a long time. It felt like someone cared.

Lily saw how her words had made Tonks react and felt a heart wrenching sadness that Tonks was so love deprived. It made Lily want to protect this little firsty and hide her from the horrors of this world.

"Come on, lets get back to the boys so they know your alright. Do you want to tell them about what we just talked about?" Lily asked

"I don't know. I guess they should know but I don't want them to tell anyone or see me as weak and leave me alone." Tonks hunched into herself. "I don't want them to think that what Bella said is true. I don't want it to be true but what if it is true?" She started to panic. Tonks didn't know what to do and she definitely didn't want the boys to know what went on inside her head.

Lily saw her panic and tried to calm her down. "I promise that they will not see you as weak and if they do I might have to knock some sense into their heads." At this Tonks giggled. "There's the smile we all love. Come on, lets go to the boys and let them know you're alright."

Tonks and Lily got off the floor and headed for the door. They made their way down to the common room and through the portrait hole. They weren't quite sure where the boys were, but they guessed they were down by the Whomping Willow where the girls had left them. It turned out that they were right and as the boys saw them approaching, they got up and ran over with concerned expressions on their faces.

"Are you alright?"

"Why did you run off?"

"Where did you go?"

Sirius, James and Remus almost shouted these questions at Tonks which made her shrink back a bit in fear.

"Guys! Give her a bit of space. We went off and talked in the girls' dorms in Hufflepuff for a bit because I wanted to know why she kept running from us.

"Did you find out why?" Sirius asked, quieter than before.

"Yes, but it isn't my choice if I tell you or not. Tonks has to decide and until she is comfortable telling you lot, don't pressure her into telling you because it will probably make her even less likely to tell you."

Tonks looked at Lily gratefully. She didn't feel like talking so just followed the others as they headed to dinner. Tonks couldn't believe it was dinner already, she must have spent longer talking to lily than she thought.

During dinner Tonks sat at Gryffindor and ignored the glances other Gryffindors sent her when they saw a Hufflepuff sitting at their table. Thankfully the boys sent her concerned glances but kept quiet and didn't press for information on what her and Lily had been talking about, instead planning pranks and occasionally asking Tonks for her opinion. Lily just shook her head and kept out of the prank planning chat. She wondered when Tonks would build up the courage to tell the boys what she had told Lily earlier, or even if she would. She wanted to tell the boys for Tonks but didn't want to go behind her back and lose the trust Tonks had put in her.

Dinner was over in no time and everyone went back to their houses, talking loudly along the way. Lily, Tonks and the boys were among the last to leave but that meant they had more time to before they had to go to bed. Soon enough they got to the Gryffindor common room and had to separate so Tonks could go to Hufflepuff house. Before they split up Tonks pulled Lily aside.

"I think I want to tell the boys tomorrow, but I don't know how. After lunch can we all meet by the willow and tell them what I told you today?" Tonks said this uncertainly, she wasn't quite sure how Lily would react, and whether she would be supportive.

Lily smiled kindly. "Of course, Tonks. Do you want to tell them, or should I tell them for you?"

"Um, can you tell them? I don't think I could tell them, but I think they have a right to know." Tonks was surprised Lily had agreed so easily, and that she had offered to tell them on Tonks' behalf.

"Sure. Night, Tonks, sleep well" Lily smiled as she headed through the portrait hole.

"Night" Tonks replied quietly. She traipsed through the tower back to her house by the kitchens. She didn't know how she was going to sleep tonight; her mind was going at 100 miles per hour and she felt like she would end up having a nightmare and waking up the other girls in her dorm if she went to sleep.

'I guess it's coffee all day tomorrow' Tonks thought. She needed coffee to stay awake if she hadn't slept or had had a bad night sleep the night before.

Sometimes Tonks wished the other girls in her dormitory were nicer and didn't mind as much if Tonks woke them up when she had nightmares, but they got angry and hated her every time it happened so Tonks often spent night alone in the common room. Occasionally there would be another student up late studying or homesick, but they would eventually go back upstairs and to bed.

Tonks spent a lot of her time in the common room. She liked being alone but tonight she wished the boys or Lily were in the same house and could come down and sit with her, so she didn't have to be on her own.

Maybe someday Lily would let her stay in Gryffindor tower for a night, so she would have company in the early hours of the morning when her mind wouldn't shut up and let her sleep. Maybe the people in Lily's dorm were nicer and wouldn't mind as much if Tonks woke them up with one of her nightmares. Maybe they would even care and try to help her. Tonks could dream.

 **AN: I am so sorry I haven't updated for over a year. Life has been crazy, and I didn't have any inspiration to write but I am back at it and will try to update more often, maybe once a fortnight or a week if I can.**


End file.
